Whitney takes a honeymoon…

You guys, don’t ask my why, but today Whitney from Cheerios and Beer is guest blogging. I don’t even like her. This is ridiculous. 


Anna asked me to write something for her while she is off getting married and honey-mooning. i originally thought no. because why would i want to write something for her when she is having a good time and i am just sitting at work getting a ‘tan’ from the soft glow of my computer??

then i realized.i should stop being a selfish little bitch and do something nice for someone.

so here. i. am.

kidding. i was super pumped when she asked me. she said i could write about ANYTHING. even said i could film a drunk vlog. which i unfortunately didn’t have time to this week since i was way too busy working. but next time.

instead i am here to discuss that time i went on my honeymoon.

oh, you didn’t know i was married? yeah. i’m not.

story goes like this.

i needed a vacation last year. and so did my sister. so we started planning. and we decided on this place in punta cana.

an adults only resort that is.

the other part of this is that when my sister and i traveled europe after college, people assumed we were a couple.

because all couples look alike right?? like sisters?

so anyway. i didn’t want to go to a resort with little <strike>bitches</strike> kiddos running around, so this was my solution. pretend like we were a couple.

and my plan was brilliant.

we were treated like queens. and didn’t have to deal with the grope-y man-hands.

we drank till our hearts were filled with joy and we forgot about all the troubles back at the homeland.

we soaked in the hot tub and basked in the sun.

we got sun burned [the first day] and ate <strike>nasty</strike> resort food.

it was the perfect honeymoon.

and for good measure…we went out on a boat.

que the music: i’m on a boat. i’m on a boat.

after the scary ass drive through the ‘town’ we make it to the dock with another couple. from germany. poor kids. i had done my research and found that you should ALWAYS take motion sickness medicine REGARDLESS if you have ever been seasick. so we did. like a prepared couple.

unlike the german couple.

30 minutes into the ride the guy is puking his brains out. didn’t get to reel in a badass fish [like me. see below] and almost fell off the boat.

so to sum up this story. go on a honeymoon any chance you get. you don’t need your HUSBAND to enjoy your time. you just need some you like being around.

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Compulsive snacker. Bleeding heart. Unhealthy obsession with Tom Hanks and cats. Florida State and Syracuse University alum.
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  1. Reply

    i've heard that you get treated like royalty if they think you're married. nick and i talked about a caribbean vacation with another couple, and we were all going to wear rings, so we could pass as married couples. is that considered cheating? is it dishonest? does cheating and dishonesty get us free alcohol? hmmm…

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