Two things in this life make me suicidal, and I say that in all seriousness. The first (and slightly less awful) of the two is poor use of grammar/punctuation. I literally want to break my computer screen and use the shards of glass to slit my wrists if I spend too much time reading Facebook statuses. The blatant disregard for correct period, comma, and apostrophe use is too much for me to deal with.
Not to mention the seemingly flagrant refusal of so many to master the
different forms of “your” and “you’re,” or “to,” “two,” and “too.”
I could go on forever. I know it’s Facebook and not an English quiz, but I don’t understand how some people just don’t get it. Not even a little.
The second thing that makes me want to jump off a cliff is Twilight. I probably just lost 50 followers. I know. It’s an epidemic. I think that’s the worst part of it.
The Feef and I spent the evening at his sister’s house on Saturday night. She happens to be an avid Twilight fan. And I say “fan” loosely because she’s really scarily obsessed with it…like goes to the theater on premier night wearing vampire contact lenses obsessed. She also reads my blog. Hi Gena.
Anyway, on Saturday night while the food was being cooked, Gena asked me if I wanted to watch Twilight later. I politely declined and let her know that I’d already made plans to go hang myself.
But once we ate dinner and played a remarkably intense game of UNO ATTACK, I was forced to chose between watching Napoleon Dynamite with the men and the kids, or watching the 3rd Twilight (Eclipse? New Moon?) with the women.
I chose the latter for the sake of bonding, and after pouring myself a hefty glass of wine, settled in for a couple hours of ocular torture. I held back my scoffs and snorts and swallowed Kristen Stewart’s lackluster acting (if she bites her lip ONE MORE TIME…). I stomached Robert Pattinson’s stony, vacant interpretation of a vampire. I even forgot how angry it makes me to know that such poor quality writing can make a talentless hack millions of dollars. But only because of the movie’s one redeeming quality – Taylor Lautner without a shirt.
I’ve seen the three movies so far – I’m not denying that. But I hate that Bella literally cannot function without Edward. That’s not love. That’s ridiculous. The fact that Bella’s life is in a constant state of “who’s going to want to kill me next” is annoying. And as far as the books are concerned, just because Meyer book-ends every thought with ostentatious adjectives (like what I did there?) does not mean her writing is of any quality. Not to mention her complete lack of REAL character development. Oh, is Edward good looking? I didn’t pick up on that. No wonder he doesn’t have a personality. Now, I haven’t read all the books, just chapters and fragments here and there. But seriously, this is who kids (and adults…) are looking up to as a literary idol?
This rant has nothing to do with the fact that I’m team Harry Potter…nothing at all.
Even though I hate Twilight, I agree with the fanatics about one thing – Jacob is hot.