What do you get a boy for Valentine’s day?

Boys are impossible to shop for unless you have specific instructions.  The manly toys that Mike might want are WAY above my female understanding, so buying tools is worthless.  Plus I don’t know what he already has.  And tools aren’t exactly the most romantic gift, either. Maybe for a dude, but not for a lady. But Mike has ZERO appreciation for romancy things…maybe not zero, but he certainly doesn’t “ooo” and “aaaah” over plush animals and fuzzy presents the way I do.  Men also don’t really appreciate flowers, do they? I’ve never heard of a guy thinking a bouquet of roses was an awesome gift.

I settled on getting him this:

but then I decided that since I don’t drink coffee, and can count the number of times I’ve actually used a mug on half a hand, it was a waste of money.

So I thought this might be appropriate:

Because really, who doesn’t need a steak brander?

But then I thought maybe I could get a specially trained parrot that would say I LOVE YOU non stop all day long RIGHT IN HIS EAR.  But he’d probably feed it to the special ops dogs at work. 
What about matching, plush, heart-shaped Valentines Day costumes for me, Mike, Buffalois and Bella?  That’d really put his love to the test.  But Valentines Day isn’t about testing love, it’s about showing love.  Although, wearing a costume like that for more than 30 seconds would really prove his love for me, but I’ll put aside the “testing Mike’s threshold for putting up with my shenanigans” for one day, methinks.
I’d buy him a bag of personalized Starbursts if I could, because I know that’s a gift he’d really enjoy.  Alas, my Valentines day gift crisis continues.  Maybe a heart made out of popsicle sticks with a low quality printed image of my face in the middle will do the trick.  My parents seemed to like that kind of crap when I was little.
Tags: Love

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Compulsive snacker. Bleeding heart. Unhealthy obsession with Tom Hanks and cats. Florida State and Syracuse University alum.
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