**Disclaimer: I usually try to keep things light and fluffy but I’m in a weird mood tonight soooo…this is a product of that. I’m not trying to stir anything up, just sorting out my thoughts.**
Friendships are funny things. Some come and go and some stay for long periods of time. If I had to choose one person to consider my greatest friend, it’d be Kelsey. Even though we rarely talk now, when we’re together after long periods of time everything seems to fall into place as if we’d never been apart. And as cheesy as it sounds, I’m pretty confident in saying that our friendship is unconditional. We don’t have to be getting wasted to enjoy each other’s company. It doesn’t matter what kind of ridiculous stunts I pull or the fights we get into. At the end of the day, she is still one of the few people I can say knows pretty much everything about me and I know that if I told her something completely off the wall, she’d still be my friend.
|Me and Kelsey, from Middle school, through High School Prom, through reunions in Italy to concerts in California.|
Sorry if this post is about to get way too melodramatic. Lately, I’ve been trying to assess the friendships I’ve formed here at school. I know this is not the case for everyone, but I feel like the vast majority of the people I know here are only my friend when we are out at the bars. Our friendships are measured by: the things we do when we are drunk together, the fun stories we have to re-tell later when we are nursing our hangovers, and the stupid mistakes we made in the process. And that’s wonderful. But other than in these moments of inebriated bonding, I rarely see my nighttime friends. We don’t grab lunch or catch a movie. They don’t know the intimate details of my life, my relationships, my struggles, or my triumphs. And I don’t know theirs.
It’s just, for some reason, since school started this semester I haven’t been in the mood to party or stay out late at the bars. I haven’t been in the mood to drive to campus on the days I don’t have class. I haven’t been in the mood to find out what everyone is up to on any given night. And it’s no secret that I don’t exactly hang around at the sorority house 24/7. All of these things are my own fault, and I have noticed that certain relationships have started to deteriorate. Not to say I don’t want to go out sometimes. I definitely do still enjoy darts at AJs, sketchy nights at Palace and I still need to get my Bull’s card.
Maybe I ought to be more proactive about preserving the friendships. I can’t be passive. I never have been the greatest at keeping in touch with everyone. But then again, nobody really tries to keep in touch with me…vicious cycle? Or am I in the wrong? But why should I be the one doing all of the work? Why can’t people let me know when they’re on my side of town, or see if I’m interested in doing something other than binge drinking? Or maybe I should be the one making plans. I just feel like nobody would be interested.
|My wonderful Phi Mu family, from my freshman fall to senior fall.|
A common malady amongst college girls is being “wifed-up.” People constantly ask me how life as a housewife is treating me. Sometimes it bothers me, but I’ve suffered from this more than once, and now that I am in a serious relationship again, I’m consistently deemed, “M.I.A.” when it comes to my activity in social events. And it’s true. Even I refer to myself as “M.I.A.”. A lot of the time I’m perfectly content to be at home or spending the weekend with Mike. Is this awful?
Friendships are two sided, are they not? Anyway, I guess the point is that since I’ve been at home without much going on as far as my social calendar is concerned, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what kind of relationships are really important to me. Should I be changing myself to fit what is expected of a girl in the college atmosphere? Or should I be seeking relations with people who are like-minded?
If we can’t function as friends outside of an alcohol-induced connection, do I really need to consider you a major part of my life?
I guess it’s hard in this sorority/college environment. Or maybe I’m just going about everything all wrong seeing as nobody else seems to have this problem. Perhaps something is wrong with me? Oh well. I’m happy with where I am right now, and if only a few people will stick around for the whole ride, that’s fine. I don’t want to go out of my way for people who wouldn’t do the same. (If you want to join this Pity Party, RSVP ASAP!) Haha.