I hate classrooms.
- I hate the whole awkward, non-verbal assigned seating agreement that everyone seems to stick to by the second week. What if I decide I don’t like sitting right by the door? What if I decide that the girl who doesn’t shave her legs makes me uncomfortable and I want to move? Well, moving is not allowed because as soon as you relocate to somebody else’s desk, the whole equilibrium of the class gets thrown off. The teacher ALWAYS gets confused.
“Anna? Is Anna here?”
– “Yes I’m over here.”
“Oh, you moved. Why’d you move? I was looking for you over there and now you’re over here and even though I’m a college professor for some reason I can’t comprehend why you would ever switch desks at a time like this!”
- But at the same time I hate when someone else takes my assigned seat, especially if I’m running late. I ‘m always thinking, “oh well at least I know where I’m going to sit.” And then I walk in the door only to find Sally Spandex-wearing-skinny-bitch sitting in my seat. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? I’ve been sitting there every Tuesday and Thursday for the past month!
- I hate chalkboards and I think they should be illegal.
- I hate that guy that always gets way too excited about certain assignments. The guy that always raises his hand to read a poem aloud. The guy that knows the answer to every question. The guy who has a miniature party in his head and sometimes can’t help but clap when we have a quiz and he knows he got all the answers right. The guy who wears button down shirts with white tennis shoes and ALWAYS brings his laptop.
- I hate when the teacher decides it’s a good idea to rearrange the desks. IT’S NEVER A GOOD IDEA. It takes five minutes to pack up all of the crap we already took out of our bags. It takes another 5 minutes for 25 college students to figure out how to make a circle, and it takes another five minutes for 25 college students to figure out how to make a circle that everyone can fit in. I hate when, once the desks have been arranged and we are all making awkward eye contact and hoping to God the teacher doesn’t notice that we didn’t bring the book, we have to sit there like a happy group of hippies meditating about the metaphors and similes in a poem. There are rows for a reason.
- I hate when teachers don’t know how to use the equipment like the overhead or the projector screen. The students can do nothing but sit there and watch as some TA struggles to find the right switches for the lights.
“Does anyone know how to work this stuff?”
I wonder if I’m the type of person people write hate blogs about?